THE EX-GOOD GIRL PODCAST

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

https://www.marinagerner.com/

Sara Bybee Fisk 3/19/25 Sara Bybee Fisk 3/19/25

Episode 106 - Vagina Business: FemTech with Marina Gerner

Let’s delve into the concept of our past self when we start to learn to live in a new way. While it’s possible to ditch our old codependent, perfectionist, and…

It can be so hard for women to find reliable information about their bodies and what they truly need to be healthy. In this episode, I talk to award-winning journalist and author of The Vagina Business, Marina Gerner. Her book explores FemTech—innovations designed to genuinely support women’s health rather than mislead or market to them with misinformation. Together, we dive into the world of women’s health and knowledge can empower a vibrant female experience. Here’s what we cover:

An introduction to FemTech and how it’s driving progress in women’s health
The taboos that often block women from getting the care and support they need
Why female pain is often normalized instead of being properly treated
How to tell the difference between privacy and shame when it comes to women’s bodies
How scam tech and the pink tax exploit women—even in healthcare
Key questions to identify scam tech vs. innovations that seek to support women’s health

I can’t wait for you to listen.

Marina Gerner’s debut book is out now. THE VAGINA BUSINESS: THE INNOVATIVE BREAKTHROUGHS THAT COULD CHANGE EVERYTHING IN WOMEN’S HEALTH. A deeply researched journalistic investigation, it shines a spotlight on the fantastic potential of femtech (female technology) to transform women’s lives, if it’s done well. As a journalist, she has written about books and arts, as well as finance and tech for over a decade. Her range of expertise has led to Marina being called "a Renaissance woman of the modern age." Marina has won several awards and written for The Economist, Jewish Chronicle, Guardian, Financial Times, Wired, the Times Literary Supplement, The Times, and the Wall Street Journal. She has been a contributing editor at The Sunday Times Raconteur, the i newspaper and MoneyWeek.

Find Marina here:

https://www.instagram.com/marinagerner/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/marina-gerner-phd-2252ba26/

https://schedule.sxsw.com/2025/events/PP150229

https://www.marinagerner.com/preordernow

https://marinagerner.substack.com/

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

www.connectionwithjewel.com

Sara Bybee Fisk 3/12/25 Sara Bybee Fisk 3/12/25

Episode 105 - People Pleasing and Friendship with Jewel Hohman

Let’s delve into the concept of our past self when we start to learn to live in a new way. While it’s possible to ditch our old codependent, perfectionist, and…

Connection is a fundamental human need, yet many feel disempowered when it comes to making friends or deepening existing relationships. Today, I’m joined by connection coach Jewel Hohman to discuss the importance of strong friendships and how people-pleasing tendencies affect our ability to form meaningful bonds. Here’s what we cover:

How societal programming around friendship contributes to the loneliness epidemic
Why good girl tendencies like over-apologizing take away from the honesty that is essential to friendship
How cultural factors–think church or Disney–have perpetuated prioritizing romantic connection over friendship
The crucial role of consistency and vulnerability in creating and deepening friendships
How to determine when to end a friendship and do so with compassion
Why conflict resolution is key to stronger friendships

I can’t wait for you to listen!

As a connection enthusiast with a degree in psychology and sociology, over 4000 hours coaching on connection, and a pending master’s in social work, Jewel combines evidence-based self-help and the latest friendship research to help people build friendships that actually nourish them. In a post-pandemic world where millions are lonelier and more disconnected than ever, this conversation is urgent but mostly ignored, and Jewel is on a mission to change that!

Find Jewel here:

Instagram.com/connectionwithjewel

Facebook.com/lifecoachjewel

https://www.connectionwithjewel.com/podcast

https://www.connectionwithjewel.com/resources

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Sara Bybee Fisk 3/5/25 Sara Bybee Fisk 3/5/25

Episode 104 - Embodying Real Wealth with Julie Murphy

I am so grateful to have a secure relationship with my husband, but it wasn’t always that way. Earlier in our relationship, I was terrified of being left by him, and I built myself an armor of hyper independence and dishonesty. I pretended to be ways I wasn’t to stay safe and “belong” with him. This lack of safety and insecurity in our relationship, I eventually realized, existed because I wasn’t safe with myself, and it wasn’t until I learned to create that safety with me that I could start to create safety in our relationship. When I did learn to become secure in myself, I was able to see more clearly what needed to change in our marriage, and I had the strength to ask for that change. In this episode, I talk about how I learned to create security with myself and how from there, I began creating security in my marriage and all my relationships. For those of you who are, like I was, feeling stuck in a painful relationship, I hope this episode will give you some clues into your own process of creating security in yourself first and in your relationships second. I can’t wait for you to listen, and I’d love to hear your thoughts when you do.

Find Sara here:

sarafisk.coach

instagram.com/sarafiskcoach

facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching

tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach

youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

Join the Free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community

Sara Bybee Fisk 2/26/25 Sara Bybee Fisk 2/26/25

Episode 103 - Ten Things That Will Help Any Relationship

When it comes to relationships, we are designed to seek safety, belonging, and connection–we all want to know that we matter. For people pleasers and perfectionists, this commonly shows up as using certain behaviors to “earn” love in return, but that often doesn’t help cultivate real connection. In this episode, I offer you ten strategies you can use to improve any relationship no matter where you are in your journey. Here’s what I cover:

Why the skills to repair after a rupture are a crucial part of any relationship
A practice to help you better understand your conflict patterns
Why the distinction between fault and responsibility is so important
4 questions to help you figure out what is working in your relationships and do more of it
How understanding the difference between boundaries, expectations, and preferences will help you communicate more clearly
Why taking care of yourself with love and kindness is so effective for improving your relationships

I can’t wait for you to listen.

Listen to episode 23 of the podcast to practice saying what you want to say.

Listen to episodes 36 and 37 of the podcast to dive deeper into the difference between boundaries, expectations, and preferences.

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://www.joinmidi.com/about-us

Join the Free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community

Sara Bybee Fisk 2/19/25 Sara Bybee Fisk 2/19/25

Episode 102 - Sex is Not "Extra" with Dr. Kelly Casperson

In her book, You Are Not Broken, Dr. Kelly Casperson points out the societal myth that sex is just “extra”--something to enjoy while it lasts and accept when it’s gone. I'm excited to welcome Dr. Casperson to the podcast today to discuss the impact of cultural stigmas about women's health and sexuality, and expand on last week’s episode about practical ways women can advocate for themselves when it comes to perimenopause. Here’s what we cover:

The narrow societal definition of who deserves a sex life and the misinformation it has caused
How good girl rules are often reinforced by medical professionals even when it’s not intentional
The female body isn’t a niche–every physician should understand it
Changes in women’s sexuality that can signal perimenopause: arousal, desire, pain, and orgasm
Why one of the biggest menopause myths is that you “get over it” at a certain point
The goal of perimenopause education isn’t perfection–it’s living life at the highest quality possible

I can’t wait for you to listen.

Check out these resources mentioned by Dr. Casperson:

https://www.myalloy.com/

https://www.blackswanltd.com/never-split-the-difference

https://themfactorfilm.com/

Find Kelly here:

https://kellycaspersonmd.com/

https://kellycaspersonmd.com/you-are-not-broken-book/

https://kellycaspersonmd.com/you-are-not-broken-podcast/

https://www.instagram.com/kellycaspersonmd/

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

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Sara Bybee Fisk 2/12/25 Sara Bybee Fisk 2/12/25

Episode 101 - What Does Eve Have To Do With Perimenopause?

If you follow me on social media or regularly listen to this podcast, you might know that I have taken on the role of a volunteer perimenopause missionary. This stage of life has had a significant impact on me, as well as my sisters and friends—just as it does for all women at a certain point. In this episode, I investigate how the lack of information and support for women going through perimenopause ties back to one important factor: how religious teachings about Eve have influenced the way society views and treats women. Here's what we cover:

A poem by Danielle Coffyn that highlights the way men and women are viewed differently based on how Eve is depicted as morally and intellectually inferior
How the story of Eve is directly linked to so many hardships women face–from victim blaming to not receiving adequate medical care
Examples of good girl programming that often stops women from demanding more for themselves
Why it is important to listen to the message that feminine rage sends us
What you can do to advocate for yourself and receive the care and support you need during perimenopause

I can't wait for you to listen.

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Join the Free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community

Sara Bybee Fisk 2/5/25 Sara Bybee Fisk 2/5/25

Episode 100 - I've Got Some Thoughts About That: AMA with Clients

Find Sara here:

sarafisk.coach

instagram.com/sarafiskcoach

facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching

tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach

youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

Join the Free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community

Sara Bybee Fisk 1/29/25 Sara Bybee Fisk 1/29/25

Episode 99 - Breaking Down Patriarchy with Amy McPhie Allebest

In this episode, you’ll hear my conversation with Amy McPhie Allebest, a writer, teacher, and feminist historian whose work has helped shape my understanding of patriarchy and expand my worldview. In her podcast, Breaking Down Patriarchy, Amy offers thought-provoking insights that inspire continued learning about the roots of patriarchy in society. Today, she shares some of those powerful ideas and personal stories, which I hope you find valuable as I have. Here’s what we cover:

How “good girl” programming contributes to white feminism and upholding patriarchy
Why feelings of fear, guilt, and shame create barriers to open-mindedness
Several tools for accepting discomfort in order to effectively engage with learning about patriarchy
Why working to educate yourself is a valuable first step from silence to speaking up
How to create a space for yourself where it's safe to learn and change your mind
Why grieving your past beliefs or harm you’ve caused is essential to moving forward
The importance of generosity and understanding in growing from what you learn instead of self-blaming

I can't wait for you to listen.

Check out these reading recommendations from Amy:

This Bridge Called My Back: Writings by Radical Women of Color

Books by bell hooks

Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde

Caste by Isabel Wilkerson

Find Amy here:

https://breakingdownpatriarchy.com/

https://www.youtube.com/@breakingdownpatriarchy

https://breakingdownpatriarchy.com/podcast/

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Join the Free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community

Sara Bybee Fisk 1/22/25 Sara Bybee Fisk 1/22/25

Episode 98 - Resentment: It's Not Coming From Them with Sara Wilhelm

Have you ever felt resentment building, only to realize your own choices have led you to that place? A huge source of resentment is mistakenly blaming others for decisions that we are responsible for, but recognizing your power to control this can be transformative. In this episode, my guest, Sara Wilhelm, shares her recent breakthrough in understanding her resentment, and how she has made a plan to move forward in the direction of living more according to her values. Here’s what we cover:

The steps to take you from feeling resentful to taking action
How people pleasing disconnects us from our true feelings and desires
A method to help deal with the discomfort you feel when you stop people pleasing
How women are programmed to believe that our time is not actually our own
Why finding a way to take action helps stop resentment towards other people or larger systems
The importance of self-compassion as you work through your resentment

I can't wait for you to listen!

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Join the Free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community

Sara Bybee Fisk 1/15/25 Sara Bybee Fisk 1/15/25

Episode 97 - Stop People Pleasing: Current Members Share!

I want every woman to have the ability to create a life of her choosing, filled with the freedom to embrace her desires. I’ve worked hard to create a program that helps women achieve this, but the real magic of my Stop People Pleasing program comes from the women themselves who are willing to take risks, expand their capacity for feeling uncomfortable, and develop the skills needed to live authentically without the weight of constantly pleasing others. In this episode, I’m so grateful to be joined by four amazing women from my program–Allyssya, Sara, Stephanie, and Susan–who share their journeys with people pleasing. You'll hear about the changes they have made in their daily lives and in how they see themselves. Here’s what we cover:

How a group program provides encouragement from other women on the same path
Why trust in yourself is crucial to turn your focus to your own desires
How people pleasing has a cost, and you often pay for it with your peace and happiness
Examples of which areas in life people-pleasing tendencies are most common
Why coaching provides you with the freedom to implement what you've learned whenever the time is right for you
How to start living a life you created instead of living a life someone chose for you when you stop people pleasing

I can't wait for you to listen!

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Join the Free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community

Sara Bybee Fisk 1/8/25 Sara Bybee Fisk 1/8/25

Episode 96 - What to Do When You Mess Up

Mistakes are a part of life–we all make them, whether it’s with ourselves, with others, or in pursuit of our goals. Even as we grow emotionally and strive for greater self-connection, our inner critical voice often shames us for every misstep. In this episode, I explore why self-compassion is key when we mess up, and how leaving self-criticism behind is essential to lasting growth. Here’s what I cover:

Examples that illustrate the way we were conditioned to fear making mistakes and the lasting impact this has
How to address the parts of yourself that are triggered when you mess up—the critic and the part that feels like you are in trouble—with compassion so you can move forward in a healthy way
Why caring for those parts allows us to separate ourselves from the mistakes we make
Sentences to say when you mess that preserve your self-respect and the sincerity of your apology
How people pleasers often conflate their self-worth with their actions, but you deserve to make a mistake and recover from it
Four questions to ask after you make a mistake to inspire a more loving response from yourself

I can't wait for you to listen.

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Join the Free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community

Sara Bybee Fisk 1/1/25 Sara Bybee Fisk 1/1/25

Episode 95 - How To Set Goals That Actually Work with Goli Kalkhoran

Find Sara here:

sarafisk.coach

instagram.com/sarafiskcoach

facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching

tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach

youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

Join the Free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community

Sara Bybee Fisk 12/25/24 Sara Bybee Fisk 12/25/24

Episode 94 - We Are Thinking About Time All Wrong with Vikki Yaffe

When we don’t get to cross something off of our to-do list, we often blame ourselves for poor time management. However, the founder and creator of the Time Hacker Method, Vikki Yaffe, joins me today to offer the perspective that the problem is not us, but the mindset about time we’ve been taught to have. Vikki teaches people the skills to collaborate with time more flexibly, and I’m so grateful to have her on the podcast to share tips and tools to stop feeling shame around time and trust ourselves instead. Here’s what we cover:

How good girl rules overlap with myths about time management
The downfalls of the systems, norms, and tools that we have been taught that are supposed to help us with our time
How the false truths we were taught about time stem from exploitation
When we try to manipulate time by overscheduling ourselves, it prevents collaboration with time and a relationship with ourselves
An example of what it looks like when someone is caught up in the misunderstanding of time
Why your brain is the most effective tool to make lasting change with your time

I can't wait for you to listen.

Find Vikki here:

https://www.timehackers.xyz/

https://www.timehackers.xyz/guide

https://www.instagram.com/vikkiyaffe/

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Join the Free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community

Sara Bybee Fisk 12/18/24 Sara Bybee Fisk 12/18/24

Episode 93 - How To Get Out of the Planning Trap with Priyanka Venugopal

“I just need a really good plan,” is a phrase that offers overachievers a sense of security, but the cycle of planning is often what holds us back from achieving our goals. In today’s episode, Dr. Priyanka Venugopal joins me to discuss why plans alone don’t deliver the desired results and how embracing a different, more informed strategy can lead to greater clarity, growth, and success. Here’s what we cover:

Why just having a plan on paper is never going to create lasting results because we have to go the extra step to evaluate what actually works
How planning triggers the reward centers of the brain because you are imagining doing the plan perfectly, but this often leads to inaction instead of achievement
We know we can do hard things, but a plan shifts our focus to wishfulness instead of doing the work
How to speak to yourself with compassion so your evaluation doesn't feel like self-punishment
5 questions to help you uncover the reason your plan didn’t work and how to adjust moving forward
It’s possible to allow yourself to feel your emotions while also being curious and realistic
Why it’s important to acknowledge your efforts every step of the way - not just when you get a result

I can't wait for you to listen!

Priyanka Venugopal is an Ob/Gyn physician turned Stress and Weight Loss Coach for professional moms who identify as overachievers and who want to lose weight with science backed strategies that will last a lifetime. For over 10 years she has talked with thousands of high achieving professional women and gotten to the root of the high achiever's biggest obstacles in hitting goals at work and on the scale.

Find Priyanka here:

https://www.burnstressloseweight.com/

https://www.instagram.com/burnstressloseweight/

https://www.burnstressloseweight.com/blog

If you are looking for a podcast episode about body image, listen to my interview with Corinne Crabtree: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1984814/episodes/12877354

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Join the Free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community

Sara Bybee Fisk 12/11/24 Sara Bybee Fisk 12/11/24

Episode 92 - Grief Around the Holidays with Susie Ruth

The hopes and expectations we have going into the holiday season make this time of year particularly susceptible to feeling grief. In this week's conversation with Susie Ruth, an end-of-life coach and grief specialist, we discuss strategies for navigating grief and offer insights on how best to support someone grieving during the holidays. Here’s what we cover:

The reason why we are more susceptible to feeling grief during the holidays
Why the acronym B.R.A.T.S. will help you remember phrases and actions that DO NOT help you process your grief
The process of learning more about grief is the first step to understanding how you can grieve and live at the same time
How simply acknowledging your grief and that it’s okay to feel is an important healing practice
How to use the W.A.I.T. acronym to guide you in supporting someone who is grieving
Why there is grief that comes with any transition in life

I can't wait for you to listen.

Find Susie here:

https://www.susieruth.com/

https://www.instagram.com/thegrieftender/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thegrieftender

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Join the Free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community

Sara Bybee Fisk 12/4/24 Sara Bybee Fisk 12/4/24

Episode 91 - Good Girls, Glinda and Upholding the Patriarchy

When we cause harm to someone else, the good girl tendency is to feel shame and defensiveness. Instead, if we get to a place where we are generous and can grieve our mistakes, we can move on to be better versions of ourselves. In this episode, I talk about how the themes of Wicked relate to my journey of becoming an ex-good girl and the importance of self-compassion when you have to question your beliefs. Here’s what I cover:

How the representation of power structures fueled by patriarchy in the Wicked movie relate to our society
Why you can't grow into better versions of yourself without acknowledging that past versions made mistakes
How my experience as a member of the Mormon church has similarities to Glinda’s character arc in Wicked
Two good-girl beliefs that are roadblocks to learning from our mistakes and becoming better friends and allies
How we have been conditioned to react to shame and think negatively about changing our mind
Why we often jump to defend our beliefs instead of being open to the idea of exploring new ones

I can't wait for you to listen!

Read the Substack essay mentioned in the episode: Defying Gravity: Wicked and the Weight of Social Justice

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Join the Free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community

Sara Bybee Fisk 11/27/24 Sara Bybee Fisk 11/27/24

Episode 90 - Why I Love Wicked and You Should Too

In this episode, you’ll get a glimpse into my musical-loving heart as I discuss the feminist themes of the movie, Wicked, and moments in the film that took me back to a time when I had to realize a hard truth. Here’s what I cover:

Why we all deserve to have beliefs consistent with having autonomy and being able to find what we like and what we want to do
How the song “Defying Gravity” helped me through a challenging time in my life
Why the realization that something that provides goodness and safety is actually doing us harm is a shared experience for many
Each of us is worthy of being in relationships, friendships, and careers that do not exist inside circumstances that require us to ignore part of what is going on in order to be happy
An important truth about people pleasing and gender equality is illuminated in an essay by Celeste Davis

I can't wait for you to listen.

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Join the Free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community

Sara Bybee Fisk 11/20/24 Sara Bybee Fisk 11/20/24

Episode 89 - Things that Matter Most Right Now

It’s normal to want to bypass feelings of fear, worry, and sorrow during this uncertain time, but we miss the opportunity to create a vulnerable, trusting relationship with ourselves and our feelings if we send these big emotions into exile. In this episode, I discuss how moving forward starts with processing our emotions. Here’s what I cover:

Why distraction from difficult emotions is not a bad thing when it’s balanced with emotional connection to yourself
A visualization exercise to help you process your feelings in a way that builds deep emotional trust
Taking the time to be with your emotions will help create the sense of safety and security needed to move forward in a way that feels good to you
How I processed the uncertainty I feel with understanding and care for myself
Why cultivating vulnerable trust with yourself is one of the most important things you can be doing

I can’t wait for you to listen.

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Join the Free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community

Sara Bybee Fisk 11/13/24 Sara Bybee Fisk 11/13/24

Episode 88 - How To Have More Holiday Magic this Season

With the holiday season fast approaching, it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of parties, errands, cooking, and cleaning that keep us busy. In this episode, we’ll look at how these people-pleasing behaviors can leave us feeling disconnected from the meaningful connections we seek most during this season.

Here’s what I cover:

Why connection is the true magic of the holiday season
The unintended consequences of trying to feel connection through people-pleasing
How to develop a framework to go through this holiday season in a better than last year
Why focusing on self-connection during the holidays will help you feel content when they’re over instead of sad and tired
Three steps to help you tune into your emotions and connect with yourself

I can't wait for you to listen.

Sign up for Stop People Pleasing: Holiday Edition. It's a series of three workshops beginning Thursday, November 14th where we'll dive into the skills that you need so that this season is magical for you, too.

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations